Sunday, April 20, 2008

Jeff Foxworthy's Take on Teachers

A co-worker sent this out last week right in the middle of a crazy week at school.


1. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.
2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating something.
3. You walk into a store and hear the words "It's Ms/Mr. _________" and know you have been spotted.
4. You have 25 people that accidentally call you Mom/Dad at one time or another.
5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under twenty-five minutes.
6. You've trained yourself to go to the bathroom at two distinct times of the day: lunch and prep period.
7. You start saving other people's trash, because most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.
8. You believe the teachers' lounge should be equipped with a margarita machine.
9. You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off."
10. You believe chocolate is a food group.
11. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."
13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior when you are out in public.
14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.
15. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do on your own children.
17. You can't pass the school supply aisle without getting at least five items!
18. You ask your friends if the left hand turn he just made was a "good choice or a bad choice."
19. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly sharpened pencils
20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer.
And finally,
21. You understand instantly why a child behaves a certain way after meeting his or her parents.

A few points that I would particularly like to comment on:
3. As a middle school teacher being spotted by a student is really no big deal but the student makes such a big deal out of it. If I'm seen in a grocery store for example the student will say something absolutely silly like, "You eat food!" The only time I really don't like being spotted by a student is when they have been a difficult student who needs constant reprimanding or if they have been nasty to me. I don't want them to see what kind of car I drive or know anywhere where I live.
4. I don't ever get called mom or dad but I get called any other teacher but not Miss ___. I usually help them out and say who I am to the student.
9. It is nice to work school hours and have some of the summer off but what people don't get is that it is so much more than that. There are always papers to grade, IEP's to go to, trainings in the Summer, lesson planning, calling parents. I don't think there is ever a day that I don't spend at least 1 hour outside of contract hours at work.
13. Kids behaving badly in public. I fight with everything within me to not respond to children not behaving correctly. The worst scenario is at the movie theater. Somehow, I always end up with middle school students near me and they are talking during the movie, receiving cell phone calls or being rude. I seriously have to tell myself, "Shelly, you are not a teacher right this minute".
21. All I need to say is that a common phase in our PE department is "the apple does not fall far from the tree".

I do praise God for the job that He has blessed me with and I do hope that in ways that I am able that I bring Him glory. God has refined my character greatly through teaching and there is much more to be done.

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