Today, I returned to work from having the last week off for Easter Break (or as they call it in the public school system, Spring Break) and got some sad news before the first bell rang. The special education teacher who I work closely with called and told me that one of our students had passed away over break. Over the 15 years of my teaching career, there have been at least 3 of my former students who have passed away at a young age. All of these died after they moved on to the next level. Today's death was different. B (I will call him B here, this is the first letter of his name but I would like to protect the privacy of his family) was in my PE class for the last 3 years. He was in my PE class where I take all of the severally multi-handicapped students and incorporate them into what I call a "reverse mainstreaming" PE class.
Let me share some things about B. B was born with a condition called spina bifida. He was paralysed from the waist down and got around in a wheelchair. Due to his condition he had a shunt placed in his brain to drain the fluid from his brain. Last week, he went in for surgery to replace his shunt and something occurred during surgery. There was too much build up of fluid in his brain when they removed his shunt, his brain went into shock and basically died.
B always had a smile on his face, he was always glad to see you. He would wheel up to me when he saw me on campus, give me the biggest hello with a smile, greet me by name and ask, "what are we doing today Miss ______?" He lit up the place where ever he went. Even the men PE teachers said he was the brightest shining light in the boys locker room. They told me today that a piece of their joy of teaching died with B passing away. They said they would always love to go into the locker room to supervise the specific period that B had PE. Even though B could not change fully into PE clothes, he faithfully put on his PE sweatshirt to be just like all of the other students (and I think he did not want to disappoint me by not changing, he knew the standard for all of the other students).
From the minute B came to my school as a 6th grader, he was eager to try everything and anything that the rest of my students were learning. There was no holding him back. As I mentioned, he got around in a wheelchair. It was a nice chair but it was not the best chair for him. He needed a light weight sport chair. It would have helped him out greatly. I think the sports chair went against his culture. B was so eager to try all things, I think my PE class opened the world up to him. It was my goal to engage him fully in my PE class so that he would have a wonderful well rounded PE experience. This is the same goal I have for all of my students but I treated him as no different with that goal.
Due to his chair, B could not really hold equipment and push his chair (due to the chair not being in a sports chair and his paralysis was just slightly below his rib cage). Students would take turns pushing him so he could play. Students were always eager to help him out. B after being helped would always tell the student thanks for helping him and giving a big high five. Allowing the students to help push was always great when we were in the gym or on the blacktop but when my rotation would be to the track or a field, I knew the students could not push him, besides, it could be dangerous and have been tipped over. Over time B got better at pushing his chair and playing. He knew that I or an aid would help him but he also knew that was not the case every time.
All the students have to run at school. Run for cardiovascular health and to also prepare for the state mandated fitness tests. B and I used the measuring wheel to measure how many laps around the blacktop he would need to do to push his mile. While the students ran on the track he "ran" on the blacktop. Each time we ran, I chose a few students who would run with him on the blacktop to encourage him to keep trying his best as they ran by him. Most of the time when I watched on, it was B who was encouraging on the other students always offering his thanks when he was done and giving a big high five.
This year knowing that B was headed onto the high school I wanted him to try pushing on the track with all of the rest of the students. He was all over the challenge. The first time he tried it, he only could finish half of a mile. He wanted to know what his time was, which I could not give him because he did not finish the whole thing. Each week he was determined to finish the whole run up on the track just like everyone else. He finally made his goal and I tell you, his time was faster than some other students who just don't try.
Just before Easter Break, my group of students were fitness testing. Most of what the state asked us to do, B could not do because of his chair. He had to sit off with those who had finished testing and have not much activity. He would shrug his shoulders and say, "it's OK". There was nothing else that could have been done because the testing has to be done by the teacher on each student. Finally, we had a break and another teacher and I decided to play the game "Rocks", which is a type of Capture the Flag game. B wanted to get right in the action and play. I have taught all the students who play in a game with my disabled students that there are rule modifications that are used to help the disabled students play in the game. I strapped B good into his chair, made sure his flip bars were down and reminded him of how to turn his body in the unlikely event that we might topple over (I prayed every time I pushed him around out on a field that we would not tip over). I asked him if he wanted to play offense or defense, always hoping that he would say defense because it would have been a little easier for me. He always chose offense. Off we ran trying to get into the free zone, steel a rock, free up those on our team that had been captured and run like mad. He so fully trusted me pushing him yet, still clung on for dear life. He always encouraged me along the way and he was good to rest when I thought my legs were going to fall off of me. When we were done, I would loosen his waist belt and he would push himself back to the locker room, the whole time talking about the game.
B was so simple minded with his retardation and he had a heart of gold. I have wrestled in my heart today about B and eternity. B's family is Muslim. I know what God's word says about salvation and the life after death. I have never fully studied about issues concerning a baby or small child dying. I have heard pastors speak on the topic and they share that there is a special grace with God and small children. I too believe this. So, my heart ponders what about a person like B, he was in the low mentally retarded class, he had not much in the area of long time memory and God created him the way he was. I trust firmly in God's sovereign plan and completely agree that God is just to do what His plan is. God may have had a special mercy and grace for B. B might be running for the first time on streets of gold.
